The transcript below isn't found on any Homestar Runner related thingy. Me and Lapper (Mostly Lapper) made it one day when we were bored.
Mike: We should get our old buddy, you know, the best film maker in Atlanta.
Matt: Craig?
Mike: No, not him.
Matt: The guy who made that film. about those guys. in that place You know, the uh... the uh... producer in Atlanta. Old, what's-his-name.
Missy: Eikhoff, Dear.
Mike: Right, him.
Matt: I SAW that film.
Mike: You did not.
Matt: I did.
Mike: How was it?
Matt: You really wanna know?
Missy: Yeah.
Matt: It was total crap. {Mike laughs} Seriously. Like, 0 out of 5, but the best total crap in the state!! I know. I know. Call him. {Matt dials}
{Dial tone}
{Twice}
{Thrice}
Chad: Who the crap are you guys?
Matt: Old friends, buddy. Back in Mrs. What's-her-name.
Chad: Stop bothering me or I'll call the cops!
Matt: Kindergarten class. No, wait {Mike is laughing hard}
{Tooooooo}
Matt: We're your buddies.
Mike: Nah... Just stick his name there.
Missy: Y'all are drunk as hell.
Matt: Right.
Mike: He wouldn't mind.
Matt: Just throw some animations from the sketchbook on there. Just... just use the scanner.
Missy: I'm taking you to a detox unit; your BAC is like 3 times the legal limit.
Matt: Don't take us to detox.
Mike: We're not even that drun...
Matt: Drunk. Right.
Mike: What was in this fried chicken?
Matt: honestly. We didn't drink anything.
Missy: I don't care. Y'all are so drunk.
Matt: Fine. Can... can...
Mike: Can we bring the chicken bucket with us?
Missy: No, just don't eat that. It's like basted in Everclear.
Mike: Hon, we're... right in the middle of making a cartoon...
Matt: A cartoon. {Missy drags them into car}
Matt: C'mon. I don't wanna go.
{Back in Chad's place)
Chad: Hon, who were those guys?
Wife: I think they went to your kindergarten class, dear.
Chad: Oh, those guys? They'll just probably throw my name on their cartoon for good measure. Bunch of losers.
{Cut to back of car, Missy dragging TBC by shirts}
Matt & Mike: We don't wanna go.
Matt: We're busy...
Mike: Lying about our cast...
Matt: Right, we're too busy... lying to go to detox.
Missy: Shut up. Jeez, Matt if you put me in that cartoon of yours...
Matt: Fine, fine.
Mike: You won't be in it.
Matt: Or at least you won't talk.
Missy: Honestly, this website idea of yours is completely bogus. Do you honestly think you can make a livin' off this?
Matt: Absolutely.
Mike: Definitely.
Matt: I'm quitting my job right now... {Dials cell phone}
{Missy grabs cell phone}
Missy: You better not.
Mike: I already have.
Missy: Mike, dang it, how are we going to support ourselves?
Mike: I don't know.
{Matt grabs cell phone, dials, yells incoherently, closes cell phone, hands back to Missy in under 2 seconds}
Matt: I just did, too. We're unemployed.
Mike: Wrong. We're self-employed.
{Missy groans, walks away}
Matt: We have the greatest jobs.
Mike: Yeah, I order the chicken, and you talk in various voices.
Matt: Right. And Missy... Missy... yells at us...
Mike: And tells us to do stupid things...
Matt: Like bathe... and eat... and... and... {Chokes}
Mike: And breather...
Matt: {exhales} Stupid stuff like that...
Mike: Yeah...
Matt: Jeez, Mike, you have a bucket of chicken on your head.
Mike: Oh, Gosh. {takes off bucket} That's embarassing.
Missy: I swear, if you two get that drunk again, I won't tell you to when to breathe anymore.
Matt: You neglect us!
Mike: Wait, New Orleans is under water?
Missy: {Groans} Ya'll are drunk as hell.
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