I whish I were a bird,

'Cause if I were a bird,

Then I could take wings high above you,

You can watch my white wings flap.

And I could take a great big crap on anyone who tried to hurt you,

but then I'll have to desert you,

Flying southward in the fall.

I don't want to be a bird after all.

I whish I were a dog,

'Cause if I were a dog,

Then I'll do tricks to show I love you,

I could run and fatch the stick.

And I could sit right down and lick my privets when your mom came over,

But if i was your rover,

you'll have my testicals recalled.

I don't want to be a dog after all.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

I whish I were a deer,

'Cause if I were a deer,

Then we could play out in the forest,

'Till you shot me by mistake.

Then you'll carve me in to steak with a touch so sweet and gantle,

Keep my head as ornamental,

And you'll hang me in upstairs' hall.

I don't want to be a deer after all.

I whish I were a monkey!

'Cause if I were a monkey,

I could be your furry jester,

And whenever you were blue,

You'll come and see me at the zoo, my antics would be reasuring,

But I will always reek of urine,

And throw me feces at the wall.

I don't want to be a monkey,

I don't want to be a monkey!

No I don't want to be no monkey!!

After all...

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida.

(Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida, Laidida,

Laidida)